Motherhood – At Home With Mubina

It’s already hard enough to do anything while your toddler is on the loose. Adding your full time job in the mix makes things even more challenging. I went back to work from maternity leave a couple months ago and I have learned a few things along the way that made me productive but allowed me to be able to spend guilt- free time with my work.

During lockdown, I couldn’t send my son, Faris, to daycare or set play dates. I had to take this matters into my own hands.

Schedule your day
When I am most organized, I am more productive. I know what is coming next. It’s all in my head. My son eats breakfast and takes nap regularly on the daily but something about writing it down makes things official hehe. I suggest writing every small detail…this way in case your day goes south, you can always come back and see what is left and prioritize for the next day.

Use nap time for meetings or important stuff
I really look forward to this, since my son only takes one nap a day, soo I only have small window to myself. I book my Zoom/phone call meetings during this time. My point is when they’re taking a nap, try to wrap as many emails and meetings as you can so when he’s up, you can manage other things. Baby things!

Have your secret weapon ready (in desperate moments)
We can NEVER plan for everything!!! I can’t stress this enough. I am not a perfect mom and not I am planning to be one. If at the last minute, my boss wants to speak to me or I have to write important email, I let my son watch TV. Lately, he loves to watch The Wiggles and during this time I can quickly wrap up and not feeling guilty of neglecting him.

Encourage individual playtime
I learned something from “Inta” the importance of individual playtime for your kids. I always encourage my son to have his alone time, whether in the swing when he was baby or now with his toys. This is time, I gate the play area and let myself either continue work or take a break for myself. Don’t forget, its important take a 15 min breaks and lunch break… just as if you were at work and need to step away from your screen and clear your head.

Make time for your kids

When you’re not working, spend some one of one time with each kid individually. I only have one, so I try to make sure I give my undivided attention to him, which means no phone, TV or anything that can be distracting. Usually, I take him to the park or on a bike ride. Doing anything out doors helps both of us feel refreshed and calm.

Well, there you have it! I hope some of you found this blog post helpful!

Disclaimer: I am not an expert in sleep training. This is simply my journey.

Sleep training is very personal to every family. Honestly, I had no idea what it was or how it’s done till I was three months into motherhood. I had completely given up on my sleep. I was maybe getting one or two straight hours of sleep. I didn’t even remember what sleep over 3 hours felt like. In month three, sleep regression began and that’s when everything went downhill.

Just to survive nights with my baby, I would do anything and everything – rocking him to sleep, giving him a bottle every time he cried, gave him a soother or even bringing him in bed with me (that totally didn’t work).

After four months of surviving being mom, I was loving it, but I was always sleepy and tired. I wasn’t in the moment with my son or with my husband. My husband and I were playing tag (he sleeps and I take care of the baby and vice versa).

I remember talking to one of the moms I met at play date and she had mentioned she was thinking to sleep train her baby. So then I started my research and then joined sleep-training group on Facebook. I got tons of information and through my internet research, found some pros and not many proven cons so I decided, that I was going to commit and sleep train my baby. I didn’t care what anybody would think of this idea as long as my husband was in.

I spoke to my husband and I remember without any hesitation he said YES! I think more than me he wanted this but was secretly waiting for me to make this decision my own.

I waited 5 months for my doctor’s appointment to get OK from my sons’ doctor to see if I can let my baby sleep all night without milk.

Once, I got the green light, it took me ONE MONTH to prepare myself mentally. Yes!!! You heard it right …I was sooooo nervous. But I was determined to take my life back.

We used a method called The Sleep Wave from a book called The Happy Sleeper and it worked magically for us. I was so nervous to sleep train but am so glad we did. This is essentially the method:

First come up with a “script” that you will say to your baby every time you put them down in their sleep spot (crib, bassinet). We said “Faris it’s bedtime. Momma and Baba love you very much. Go to sleep sweetheart”

Now here are the steps…

Do your usual bedtime routine, place baby in their crib drowsy but awake, say your script and walk out the room

If the baby starts crying, truly crying and not just fussing or squawking (use your best judgement) then you set a timer for 5 minutes. If they are still crying after 5 minutes, go in, say the script and leave (do not touch them or console in any way, just look at them, say your script and leave) – so caveat I did put my hand on him when I said the Script cause we had been practicing that for a few weeks.

If the baby continues to cry set the timer again for 5 minutes and keep doing the 5-minute checks and saying the script until the baby stops crying.

Once the crying stops but it starts again in the middle of the night then you do the same thing again. Start the timer for 5 minutes and go from there. Remember if the baby stops crying at any point then to reset the timer (even if they stop crying for only 30 seconds).

It doesn’t just have to be one person going in and doing these checks/saying the script (my husband and I took turns) but just make sure your script never changes and that you’re going in at exactly the 5 minute mark and only staying in the room long enough to say the script and walk out. This method is nice because the baby gets used to your pattern of returning every 5 minutes and doesn’t get frustrated like they might If you were increasing the time between checks.

There you have it! I hope some of you found this blog helpful!! Let me know in the comments if sleep training worked for you!

XO!